As I prepare to welcome my daughter into the world, I reflect deeply on the sacred bond between mothers and daughters, a bond that spans generations and is infused with the wisdom of our ancestors. As an Aboriginal family, our connection to the land, water, and nature’s cyclical rhythms has always been central to our lives. Growing up on Crown land, just off the reservation but still enveloped by the sacred forests and waters, I was in tune with the natural cycles that govern life—cycles of birth, death, renewal, and the mysteries that come with each.

This journey of motherhood feels even more profound as I carry my daughter. I feel her presence deeply, as if we communicate telepathically, a knowing that transcends words. It reminds me that our souls are intertwined, not only in this life but across many lifetimes. The wisdom we will exchange, the lessons we will learn from each other, and the work we will do to heal our lineage feels monumental. And while I know there is much inner work ahead, I am filled with excitement for this journey and the stories that will unfold.

The Cycle of Healing: A Lineage of Resilience

My connection to my daughter brings into focus the stories of the women who came before me—my own mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. Each of them carried their own burdens, struggles, and joys, and their stories have shaped the woman I am today. My great-grandmother passed away young, consumed by mental health struggles and addiction, leaving behind two children. My grandmother, her daughter, endured similar hardships, and carried similar pain.

My mother, though also scarred by the traumas of our lineage, began the process of breaking these generational patterns. She has lived longer and has done her own healing work as an elder, planting seeds of change that have allowed me to continue this path of growth and healing.

Now, as I stand on the precipice of bringing my daughter into this world, I see myself as a bridge between the past and the future—a bridge that holds the strength of the women who came before me and the hope of the generations that will follow.

Hekate: The Triple Moon Goddess and Our Sacred Feminine Connection

As I navigate this sacred journey, I feel a deep connection to the goddess Hekate, the Triple Moon Goddess. Hekate represents the maiden, mother, and crone—the three stages of a woman's life. She embodies the mysteries of birth, life, death, and rebirth, and guides us through transitions and transformations.

The connection between my daughter, my mother, my grandmother, and me feels like a living embodiment of Hekate’s energy. We each represent a different aspect of the goddess, our stories woven together through the cycles of life. I, as the mother, carry the wisdom of the crone, passed down from my elders, while also nurturing the maiden energy that my daughter brings. It is through these cyclical transitions, much like the phases of the moon, that we heal, grow, and move forward as a family.

A Sacred Journey of Transformation

As my daughter grows inside of me, I feel her strength, her energy, and her spirit. I know that we have much to teach and learn from one another. She is not just my child; she is my teacher, my companion, and my guide through this next phase of life. Our bond is already profound, and I trust that together, we will continue to break the cycles of trauma and hardship that have long burdened the women in our family.

This journey of motherhood is a sacred rite of passage, not just for me, but for the lineage of women who came before me and the generations that will follow. I honor my ancestors, the wisdom of the land, and the cycles of nature that have guided me thus far. And with my daughter by my side, I step forward into this new chapter, excited for the lessons, the healing, and the growth that await us.

The journey of motherhood is inherently complex, and navigating your personal mother wound only adds layers of challenge. For many, the mother wound is rooted in unresolved trauma, unmet needs, and unhealthy family dynamics passed down through generations. These patterns, often unconscious, can manifest in various ways, such as emotional distance, criticism, or manipulative behaviors, making it difficult to establish healthy boundaries and relationships as an adult.

Understanding the Mother Wound

The mother wound is the emotional pain and trauma passed from one generation of women to the next. It manifests when a mother, consciously or unconsciously, projects her unresolved wounds, insecurities, and unmet needs onto her children, often creating an emotional gap that leaves the child feeling unloved or unworthy.

In my experience, living with my mother during pregnancy has highlighted the tension between us. As I prepare for my baby, I’ve been reclaiming space in our shared apartment, painting and organizing to create a nurturing environment. However, my mother holds onto material things as a coping mechanism, which conflicts with my need for a peaceful space. Her resentment toward the changes I’m making has stirred up past wounds, resurfacing old feelings of being unsupported.

This is not just about the physical space but about deep emotional patterns I’ve recognized over time. Like many mothers and daughters, we are both carrying unhealed trauma that has been passed down from previous generations—what many refer to as family karma.

Breaking the Cycle: Healing Family Karma

Family karma refers to the emotional, behavioral, and energetic patterns that are inherited through generations. Unresolved trauma, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and toxic dynamics are often passed down unconsciously, repeating themselves in future generations until someone consciously chooses to break the cycle.

For me, this breaking of the cycle has required not only self-awareness but also the courage to confront the dysfunctional dynamics between my mother and me. I’ve recognized that her hoarding and resistance to change are reflections of her unhealed wounds, likely stemming from her own difficult childhood. As painful as it is, I’ve had to accept that she may never be the mother I need, but I have the power to heal my own emotional wounds and prevent them from being passed on to my children.

Internal Family Systems (IFS): Meeting My Inner Child

One of the most powerful tools I’ve used in this healing process is Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapeutic model that helps us understand and integrate the different "parts" of ourselves. These parts often represent aspects of our psyche that have been wounded, such as our inner child or inner critic.

Using IFS, I’ve connected deeply with my inner child—the part of me that still yearns for the unconditional love and support from my mother. I’ve learned to parent this part of myself, offering the nurturing and validation that I never received growing up. Through IFS, I’ve also acknowledged my mothers protective parts, such as anger and resentment, which have been her defense mechanisms against emotional hurt.

The goal isn’t to suppress these parts but to understand and heal them. By integrating them into my present self with compassion, I’ve started to release the hold that my mother wound has had over me. This internal healing is essential in breaking the karmic cycle and creating a healthier emotional environment for my own children.

Psychedelic Integration: A Tool for Deep Healing

Psychedelic integration has also played a key role in my healing journey. Psychedelics, when used intentionally and safely, can provide profound insights into our unconscious mind, helping us to access repressed emotions and traumas that are otherwise difficult to reach.

During my integration sessions, I’ve been able to reconnect with memories and emotions from childhood that I had long buried. I’ve experienced visions of my mother’s own suffering, which has helped me cultivate empathy for her, even when her actions are hurtful. However, these experiences have also reinforced the importance of setting firm boundaries, ensuring that her wounds do not continue to affect my own emotional well-being or that of my children.

Through psychedelic integration, I’ve tapped into a deeper understanding of my family karma and the generational trauma that has been passed down. This understanding has been essential in releasing myself from the burden of trying to "fix" my mother or expect her to change. Instead, I’ve redirected my focus on healing myself and fostering a supportive, loving environment for my children.

Affirmations for Healing and Empowerment

As part of this journey, I’ve relied heavily on affirmations to rewire my mindset and stay aligned with my healing intentions. These affirmations have been a daily practice, helping me release old patterns of self-blame and guilt while empowering me to step into my role as a mother and a cycle-breaker. Here are some that have been particularly powerful:

1. “I am creating a safe and loving home for my children and myself.”
2. “I trust myself to make the right decisions for my family.”
3. “I release the need to carry others’ emotional burdens.”
4. “I am strong, capable, and deserving of support.”
5. “I embrace change and growth, knowing it will bring abundance.”
6. “I grieve what my mother cannot be, but I honor myself for breaking the cycle.”

These affirmations serve as daily reminders that I have the power to create a new narrative for my family, one that is not defined by the past but by my conscious choices in the present.

Steps for Healing the Mother Wound

1. Set Firm Boundaries: Healing the mother wound often requires setting boundaries to protect yourself from emotional harm. In my case, I’ve had to set boundaries around my mother’s smoking in shared spaces and her tendency to criticize my parenting choices.
2. Honor Your Grief: It’s essential to acknowledge and grieve the mother you never had. Accepting that your mother may never fulfill the role you need can be painful, but it also frees you from unmet expectations.
3. Nurture Your Inner Child: Use practices like IFS to reconnect with your inner child and offer the love and validation you didn’t receive. This self-parenting is critical in breaking the cycle of trauma.
4. Integrate Psychedelic Insights: If psychedelics are part of your healing journey, take time to integrate the insights you receive. These experiences can reveal deep truths about your family karma and help you release old patterns.
5. Create a Supportive Environment: Surround yourself with a chosen family—friends, mentors, and loved ones who can offer the emotional support your mother cannot. Create a peaceful, nurturing space for yourself and your children.

Healing the mother wound is a deeply personal and challenging journey, but it is also incredibly rewarding. By combining tools like Internal Family Systems, healing family karma, and psychedelic integration, I’ve been able to confront my own wounds and break the generational patterns that have impacted my family. This work is not only for my own healing but for the well-being of my children and future generations.

If you’re navigating your own mother wound, know that you are not alone. It’s possible to heal, to release the burdens of the past, and to create a new, empowered narrative for yourself and your family.

Additional Resources for Deeper Exploration

For those who feel called, here are a few resources to guide you on your journey:

1. "Circle of Hekate" by Sorita d'Este - A deep dive into the mysteries of the Triple Moon Goddess, Hekate, and her connection to women’s spiritual journeys.
2. "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" by Francis Weller - A guide to understanding the ancestral wounds we carry and how to heal them through ritual and connection to nature.
3. "Motherhood as a Spiritual Path" by Shannon M. Rosales - This book explores the sacred and transformative journey of motherhood through the lens of ancient wisdom.
4. "Healing Generational Trauma" by Mark Wolynn - An excellent resource on understanding how trauma is passed down through generations and how to break these cycles.
5. "Braiding Sweetgrass" by Robin Wall Kimmerer - A beautiful exploration of indigenous wisdom, connection to nature, and the role of women in the cycle of life.
6. “Retire Your Family Karma” by Ashok Bedi & Boris Matthews - Recognize karmic inheritance and settle family's karmic accounts so you can redirect your energies in accord with your own true path and passion, your soul's calling.
7. “It Didn't Start With You” by Mark Wolynn - A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field
8. “In Sheep's Clothing” by George K. Simon Jr. - To stop being a victim, you have to know how to spot these "wolves in sheep's clothing." Using case studies, Dr. Simon reveals the tactics manipulators like to use and tells you how to respond to them.

Embrace your connection to the land, your ancestors, and the powerful feminine energy that flows through you. Whether you are just beginning your journey or deep in the process of transformation, know that you are supported by the women who came before you, the goddess who guides you, and the daughter who walks alongside you.